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About Taraz

Oh, and don’t get me started on the music—flutes and whale sounds? Lame! Crank some metal, let’s get freaky! I’d kill for a massage where the chick’s whisperin’ dirty nothings—way hotter than “You’re so tight.” Duh, that’s why I’m here! Pro tip: coconut oil’s the bomb—smells like paradise, slick as sin. Once had a gal use too much—slid right off the table, landed ass-up, laughin’ like a hyena! True story, swear it!

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I’m getting frustrated, but then I spot a cool drone. I’m like, “I need this in my life.” I ask the dude if I can try it out. He’s all like, “Sure, but don’t break it.” No pressure, right? I take it outside, and it’s flying like a champ. I’m feeling like a boss until it crashes into a tree. Oops.

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