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But here’s da kicker – it’s not all happy endings, ya? Sometimes it’s awkward as hell – some dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, bro, dis ain’t a porno!” I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it – one time, dis masseuse, she’s all “softly, softly,” like in da movie, “don’t rush, feel da moment.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m Arnie, I don’t do slow!” But den – boom – it hits me, dat quiet power, “love is a whisper,” ya? Sexual-massage can be dat – gentle but strong, like me liftin’ 300 pounds!

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So, I leave the café, feeling all mushy inside, and head towards the river. The view from the bridge is sick. I mean, you can see the whole city. The mountains in the background, the skyline, it’s all so beautiful. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right. But then, I step in a puddle. My shoes are soaked. I’m like, “Really, Karaton? You’re gonna do me like that?”

Fig. 5. Response of reinforcing steel subjected to reversed cyclic...