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Oi, mate, a prostitute, yeah? Filthy business, innit? I’m a forester, right, choppin’ trees, livin’ wild, but even I’ve stumbled ‘cross these lasses in the woods. Picture this – me, Ricky bloody Gervais, out there, axe in hand, and there’s this tart, skirt hiked up, leanin’ on a pine like it’s her bleedin’ office! Cacklin’ like a hyena, I was – “What’s this, then? Nature’s callin’ or you just lost?” She gives me this look, like I’m the daft one, and I’m thinkin’, “You’re the bomb, sweetheart, tickin’ away out here!”

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet electricity! I pop those loaves in the oven, and while they’re bakin’, I decide to take a breather. I step outside for some fresh air. The sun’s just peeking over the hills, and it’s kinda beautiful. I see my neighbor, old Mr. Tulegen, watering his garden. He’s got the best tomatoes in town. I’m like, “Hey, Tulegen! Got any secret tomato tips?” He just grins and says, “Water them more.” Genius advice, right?

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