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Oh, and the variety—mind blown! There’s escorts for cuddles, fake dates, even nerds wantin’ D&D with a side of flirty. “Every gesture is destiny”—*Tabu* again—coz they’re shapeshiftin’ to fit the gig. Me? I’d hire one just to mess with Thor at a feast—imagine his face! Hah! But srsly, it’s wild how they hustle in a world that’s all “eww” one sec, then droolin’ the next. Hypocrisy—makes me wanna zap someone with my scepter.

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At the market, it’s chaos. Vendors shouting, people haggling. I spot this guy selling fresh produce. He’s got the biggest apples I’ve ever seen. I’m talking, like, “Is that an apple or a small planet?” I buy one, and it’s juicy as hell. But then, outta nowhere, this cat jumps on my leg. I freak out, drop the apple, and it rolls away. I’m chasing it like a madman.