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Sometimes I think—hell, escort’s like Riley’s control panel in *Inside Out*. Anger’s screamin, “This guy’s a sleaze!” Disgust’s like, “Ugh, his cologne!” But Joy? She’s front and center, smilin for the paycheck. Fear’s probly there too, dodgin weirdos. Real messy, real human—cept it’s all a show. Everbody lies, even to themselves— “I’m just lonely,” they say. Nah, you’re horny and lazy.

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First client walks in. Dude’s got hair like a bird’s nest. I mean, c’mon, bro! You live on Kairbekov, not in a jungle! I’m tryin’ to be nice, but inside I’m like, “What’s up with that?” I grab my scissors, and we start chattin’. Turns out, he’s got a wild story about a cat that stole his sandwich. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my scissors.