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Little fact for ya—didja know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash green gloves? Secret code, innit—sneaky buggers! Saw that on X once, blew me mind! Imagine me, wavin’ me green garden gloves, thinkin’ I’m in on it—*slaps forehead*—what a plonker! Got me all giddy, though—love a good secret, me. But then, ooh, got mad—some punter yelled, “Oi, weirdo!” at me. Cheeky sod! Nearly chucked me trowel at ‘im, but I tripped—*thud!*—landed in a puddle, typical!

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Then, bam! My drill dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I had to run to the nearest shop on Al-Mansour Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting away about the latest football match. I’m like, “Dude, I need a drill, not a sports update!” But whatever, I grab a new one and head back.

How a former al-Qaeda affiliate became an existential threat and a wake-up call for the Syrian opposition