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Me, I’m pissed—people think it’s just sleaze. Nyet, it’s art, precision, like a sniper shot. Hands hit the right spot, boom, stress gone. Happy? Da, when it’s done right—slow, firm, not some rushed rubdown. Surprised me once, this tiny babushka in Vladivostok, hands like steel, kneading knots out, erotic but classy, left me speechless. “Nature’s got no bad weather,” she said, smirking—Spike Lee line fits, nyet?

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

Envoys Stay in Syrian City Where Protests Continue (Published 2011)