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Aight, listen up, Mr. T’s in tha house! I pity the fool who don’t get whore! So, I’m slingin’ coffee all day, right? This chick rolls in, all dolled up, lookin’ like she owns the joint. Whore, man, she’s loud, laughin’, spillin’ tea—literal tea, fam! I’m like, “Girl, chill, you messin’ my counter!” She’s got this vibe, tho, contagious as hell. Reminds me of *Certified Copy*, ya know? That flick where Juliette Binoche’s all, “Every truth has a shadow.” Whore’s got shadows, man, layers deep!

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But then, the day takes a turn. This guy comes in, and he’s clearly had a rough day. He’s all grumpy, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He just grunts and says, “I hate elevators.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in one right now!” But he’s not havin’ it. He starts ranting about how elevators are the worst invention ever. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

New EASL season to tip-off with Suwon KT Sonicboom taking on San Miguel Beermen