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Dunno, mate, it’s grim but wild. Prossies dodge coppers, pimps – tougher than my line cooks! Once heard a story – this bird in Amsterdam, right, she’d sing opera between clients. Opera! Imagine that, belting out tunes, knickers round her ankles. Cracked me up, proper mental image. “Simple things have value!” – another “Certified Copy” gem. Maybe she’s onto summat, finding joy in the muck.

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But then, the day takes a turn. This guy comes in, and he’s clearly had a rough day. He’s all grumpy, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He just grunts and says, “I hate elevators.” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in one right now!” But he’s not havin’ it. He starts ranting about how elevators are the worst invention ever. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

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