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Ooh, and the surprises? This one dude sent a vid—not THAT kinda vid, thank God—but him singing off-key to impress me. I was like, “Bro, ur not Li Mu Bai, sit down!” Laughed so hard I cried. But real talk, sex-dating’s a game—u gotta be quick, like “strike with the wind” fast, or u miss ur shot. I’m out here tryna find my desert oasis, ya feel?

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Then, I’m walkin’ down the alley by the Songgangdong Community Center, and I hear this loud music. Turns out, there’s a street performance happening. These kids are breakdancing, and they’re amazing! I’m clapping and cheering, totally forgetting about my kimchi disaster. It’s like, wow, this is the spirit of Songgangdong!