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Oi mate, picture this – me, a fisherman, right? Out there, rod in hand, sea’s my battlefield. I’m thinkin bout findin a prossie, yeah? Not yer typical catch, mind! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the streets – but this hunt, it’s personal, raw, gritty. Like in “Children of Men” – that flick’s my jam, Alfonso Cuarón’s a bloody genius. World’s gone to shit there, no kids, no hope – but me? I’m chasin a different kinda spark.

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So, I’m up there, trying to keep it together. The couple looks so in love, and I’m like, “Aww, this is sweet.” But then, the best man? He’s got this huge grin, and I’m thinking, “Dude, don’t drop the rings!” And guess what? He drops them. Right in the middle of my heartfelt speech. I almost lost it.

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