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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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But then, I got lost. Yup, classic me. I took a wrong turn and ended up in some random neighborhood. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be a lost tourist.” But then, this old lady saw me and started chatting. She didn’t speak much English, but her smile was universal. She offered me some homemade rice cakes. I was like, “Heck yes!”

AFC Champions League Elite: Al Hilal 7 - 0 Gwangju FC (Quarter-final)