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Here’s the kicker—ya know what surprised me? Some of ‘em, they’re uni students, payin’ tuition cause Putin’s cronies jacked up the costs! I’m screamin’, “This is outrageous!”—my voice crackin’ like a rusty hinge. Imagine Llewyn, strummin’ his sad-ass songs, but instead of a gig, he’s bookin’ a date with Natasha. Hilarious, right? I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it, but it’s fucked up too—capitalism screwin’ everyone, even in Russia!

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But then, just as we’re about to head there, it starts pouring rain. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We sprint for cover, laughing like idiots. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just thinking, “This day can’t get any crazier.”

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