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Last week, I tried it—sketchy parlor downtown. Neon sign blinkin “Massage,” but ya know it’s more. Walked in, smellin like lavender and bad decisions. Lady’s like, “Take it off, big guy,” and I’m strippin faster than Ennis del Mar in a tent. “I can’t quit you,” I mutter, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t hear. She starts, hands strong as hell—lumberjack approved. Then it gets weird—good weird. Fingers dancin near my ass, I’m like, “Oi, that’s new!” Felt like choppin wood but backwards—relief, not work. Got me happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed—why’d I wait so long?

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But then, outta nowhere, my coworker, Ji-hoon, bursts in. He’s all flustered, like he just ran a marathon. Turns out, there’s a leak in the basement. Great. Just what we need. So, we grab some buckets and head down. The smell down there? Ugh, like a mix of mold and regret.

Yang Yong-eun (52) was thrilled to win her first career championship at the PGA Tour Champions.Ang Y..