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Real talk, tho—escorts ain’t just arm candy. They’re smart, quick, dodgin’ judgy eyes like, “I am not a common thief!”—straight outta the movie, y’all! I respect the hustle. Once knew this gal, swore her escort gig paid for her art degree—painted nudes, too! Laughed my ass off thinkin’ bout her sketchin’ clients on the sly. Bet she’s out there now, livin’ her truth, “untainted by greed”—well, mostly!

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m stuck next to this guy who smells like he bathed in garlic. No joke. I’m trying not to gag while we wait for the all-clear.