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So there I am, swayin’ with her, rum buzzin’, an’ I’m thinkin’—this be freedom, aye? No shackles, no overseer, just me an’ a gal fer hire. “I will not bow to despair!” I mutters, tho maybe I’m just drunk. Either way, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a tumble—it’s a bloody adventure, mates! Ye dodge the clap, the coppers, an’ the cheats. Worth it? Depends on the lass, savvy? Now, where’s me rum—thirsty work, this yarn-spinnin’!

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But just as I’m enjoying the vibe, my phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you remember to pick up the dry cleaning?” Ugh, mom! I’m in the middle of a baking frenzy! I’m like, “Yeah, totally, I’ll get right on that.”

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