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We hates it, precious! All them dodgy ads— “sensual touch, call now!” Makes me wanna hurl. But—ha!—some punters show up expectin’ miracles, leave with a limp fiver and regrets. Cracks me up! Still, surprises me how big it’s got—underground stuff goin’ mainstream. “The seasons turn, yet lust remains,” eh? Kim Ki-duk’d spin that poetic, but me? I’m just pissed! Slimey, grubby—erotic-massage ain’t no art, it’s a scam! We hates it!

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Then I decided to stroll down to Dongmun Traditional Market. OMG, the sights! The smells! I was like a kid in a candy store. Fresh seafood everywhere. I saw these massive crabs. Like, I swear they were plotting something. 🦀 I was just minding my own business, and this lady starts yelling at me in Korean. I think she thought I was trying to steal her crab. I was like, “Lady, chill! I’m just admiring your crustacean friends!”

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