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Alright, listen up, pal—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, cause this world’s messed up! Billionaires should not exist! They’re hoardin’ cash while folks out there—workin’ girls, ya know?—they’re scrapin’ by! Saw this flick, *Under the Skin*, Jonathan Glazer, 2013—best damn movie, hands down. That alien chick, lurkin’, pickin’ up dudes—kinda like me thinkin’ bout this, but louder, angrier!

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I met up with my buddy, and we just went wild. We tried everything—korean fried chicken, spicy rice cakes, you name it. I was so full, I thought I might burst. But then, we saw this game stall. You know, the one where you throw darts at balloons? I’m like, “I got this!” I threw a dart, and it hit the balloon, but it didn’t pop! I was so embarrassed. My buddy was dying laughing.

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