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Ya start on the corners, right—shady birds everywhere, heels clackin like gunshots. One lass, swear down, looked like she’d shiv ya soon as shag ya. I’m cacklin, “Oi love, you the killer or the cure?” She blanked me—rude cow! Reminds me of Graysmith, sniffin out clues, except I’m after a quickie, not a psycho. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty mares! History’s full of that—little fact for ya, ya ignorant git.

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After the wedding, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, but then I step outside. And bam! It’s pouring rain. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. “Great day for a swim,” I mutter to myself.

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