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I’m tellin ya, it ain’t easy, pal! You think it’s all Hollywood – bam, there’s a gal waitin? Nah, it’s a freakin maze! Great Scott! Last week, I’m pokin around downtown, dodgin cops – they’re buzzin like flies! – and this chick, she’s eyeballin me. I’m thinkin, “Jackpot!” But nope, she’s sellin knockoff purses! Laughed my ass off – what a twist! “You’re not my father!” – movie line again, poppin up as I realize I’m chasin shadows.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the Yukuhashi Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history? I’m there, taking pics, feeling all cultured. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy my moment here! They’re all like, “OMG, look at the moat!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, it’s a moat. Chill.”

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