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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Blimey, what a caper! Picture this, Zero Dark Thirty style—me, Boris, skulkin’ through London’s dodgy bits, huntin’ for intel like Jessica Chastain, but instead of bin Laden, it’s a lass for hire. “The night is dark,” I mutter, channellin’ that film’s grit, “and full of terrors—cor, where’s she at?”

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I decide to take a walk down to Yachimata Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the sound of laughter. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like little maniacs, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still fuming. Like, come on, kids! Watch where you’re kicking that thing!

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