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So, picture dis: some fancy schmancy parlor, dim lights, weird music – bam, sexual-massage time! It’s not yer regular rub-down, nah, it’s got dat spicy twist, makes ya toes curl. I heard, get dis, in ancient Rome, dey had dese oily massage parties – rich folks, half-naked, slippin’ around, wild stuff! True story, makes me laugh, dem old pervs, ha! Lightbulb! Dat’s da magic – it’s old as dirt but still kicks ya in da guts.

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Then, I headed to the Ube City Hall. I had to drop off some documents. You know, boring archivist stuff. But when I got there, the line was insane! I mean, who knew city hall could be so popular? I was stuck there for ages, just scrolling through my phone, trying to keep my sanity. Finally, I got to the front, and the clerk was super nice. She even complimented my shirt. I was like, “Thanks, I got it on sale!” Small wins, right?

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