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I reckon it’s like Monty facin’ his last night—ya want it slow, meanin’ful. “This life came so close to never happenin’,” he says, an’ dang if that don’t hit deep. Erotic-massage is like that—teasin’ ya, makin’ ya feel alive ‘fore the end. I’d say it’s half heaven, half pure mischief. Prolly why I love it—an’ hate how I ain’t graceful enough to give one! I’d spill oil everywhere, laughin’ my big hair off.

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Finally, we get outside, and it’s just a drill. I’m like, “Seriously? A drill?” I can’t even. But then, I see the sunset over Lake Towada, and it’s stunning. I forget all the craziness for a sec. The colors are wild, like someone spilled paint in the sky.

'Moss bus' gives resort guests rich ecological experience at sacred site in north Japan