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Say hello to my little friend! Man, prostitutes, they’re somethin else, huh? Been thinkin bout this chick I met, workin the streets like she owns em. Reminds me of *Brokeback Mountain*, ya know? “I wish I knew how to quit you” – that’s me with these wild stories. She’s out there, free as Ennis and Jack, fuckin hustlin, no rules, no bullshit. Saw her last week, heels clickin, skirt so short I’m like – damn, chica, you tryna kill me?

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Halfway up, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some kid on a bike just wiped out. I’m up there, trying not to laugh, but I’m also like, “Is this my fault?” I mean, I’m the one in the tree. But hey, the kid’s fine, just a little scraped up. He gets up, brushes himself off, and yells, “Nice tree, man!” I’m like, “Thanks, kid! It’s a real beauty!”

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