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Real story—friend, let’s call him Bob, total nerd, wanted “company.” Found a gal, “Candy,” $200/hour. Met at a motel—shady, neon buzzing, pure *Zodiac* vibes. “I want to know everything!” Bob says, channeling Ruffalo. Candy’s like, “Cash first, creep.” He’s fumbling, I’m cackling—amateur hour! She was legit tho, ex-stripper, told us about busts in Vegas. Cops raided her old spot, 1998, hid in a dumpster—wild, right? Little known fact: pros dodge taxes, cash-only life. IRS hates ‘em!

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After that, I decide to hit up the Tanushimaru Park. It’s so pretty there, with cherry blossoms and all. I’m just chilling on a bench, soaking it all in. But then, this group of tourists comes by, and they’re LOUD. Like, can you not? I’m trying to enjoy nature, not listen to your whole life story.