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So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t no picnic, darlin’. Back in my day, I reckon it was hush-hush, sneaky-like. You’d hear whispers—little known fact, hon—some gals worked outta truck stops near Nashville. Called ‘em “lot lizards,” sassy as all get-out! Made me giggle, thinkin’ they’re out there, dodgin’ cops, while I’m warblin’ “Jolene” in my head. “Please don’t take my man!”—ha, like they’d want my sorry hide!

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As I’m leaving the shrine, I bump into an old friend. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start catching up, and it’s all laughs and good vibes. But then, I remember I left my phone on the bench at the park. Panic mode activated! I sprint back, heart racing.