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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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There are websites and forums devoted to this that'll tell you everything you need to know. Also people post trip reports a lot and I find them information. I researched a LOT before I went to .

At the bar, it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, and the vibe is just right. I grab a drink, and we start talking about the festival. Turns out, my buddy’s got a cousin who’s in charge of the floats. I’m like, “Dude, let’s make a game about this!” We’re brainstorming ideas, and I’m just buzzing with excitement.

Fig. 1. Macroscopic photograph of the tongue. The painless, elastic,...