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So, sex-dating—swipin’ left, right, horny folks tryna score. It’s a jungle, mate, pure chaos! Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—folks actin’ all suave, but half the time they’re just thirsty AF. I saw this dude’s profile once—shirtless, flexin’, bio said “just vibes.” Vibes? Mate, you’re beggin’ for a hookup, not a soulmate! Made me laugh, tho—kinda sad too. Reminds me of “A Prophet”—“You’re alone now,” that cold line. Sex-dating feels like that—alone, even when you’re chattin’ up ten people.

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So, I hit up Kōen-dōri first. It’s this street lined with cherry blossoms. I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t love cherry blossoms? I’m walkin’ and just soaking it all in. Then BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this? I’m about to start a petition for better sidewalks.

Fig. 1. Macroscopic photograph of the tongue. The painless, elastic,...