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I’m chattin’ her up, casual-like, “Oi, love, what’s the deal?” She’s cool, sassy, says, “50 quid, no funny biz.” I’m thinkin’, *Hurt Locker* style—“The rush of battle is a potent addiction”—and mate, I’m hooked already! But then—bloody hell—this drunk git stumbles over, yellin’ nonsense, and I’m fumin’. “You shall not pass, you filthy wanker!” I bellow, staff or no staff, I’m ready to deck him. She laughs, says, “Chill, Gandalf, I’ve seen worse.” That cracks me up—happy as a hobbit with a pint.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Tamamura Park. It’s this chill spot with trees and a pond. I thought, “Hey, let’s relax.” But nah, some kids were playin’ soccer, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right at me. I dodged it like a ninja, but then I tripped over my own feet. So embarrassing! I’m layin’ there, and the kids are laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why me?!”

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