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I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

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After that, I was kinda grumpy. We walked down the streets, and I was just mumbling about spreadsheets and actuarial tables. My buddy tried to cheer me up with some street food. We hit up this little stall on Koshinmachi Street. They had these amazing takoyaki balls. I mean, I could’ve eaten a hundred of those! But then, I bit into one, and it was super hot. Like, lava hot! I almost lost my taste buds.

Bilateral pleural empyema by Enterobacter infection secondary to pancreaticopleural fistula