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Finding a prostitute’s tricky, tho. You gotta, like, know the code. Little fact: some use secret handshakes—wtf, right? I’m too glam for this, I swear. My nails? Ruined. I’m pissed, but also—kinda fun? Like, I’m living a noir plot! “Oh father, why these struggles?”—yep, Turin Horse again. I’m dramatic, sue me!

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I got to the office on Takahagi Avenue, and my team was already buzzing. They were all hyped about this big project we were working on. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to pivot the whole strategy.” I’m like, “Dude, we just spent weeks on this!”

Teenage girl commits suicide after suspected verbal abuse by coach