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So, escorts – not the car, ha! – these birds or blokes, they’re pros, yeah? Met this one geezer, swear down, told me ‘e worked escortin’ posh types ‘round London, 80s vibe, all cocaine and big hair! Little known fact, mate – some escorts back then, they’d smuggle cigs on the side, dodgy as fuck! Made me laugh, picturin’ ‘em in heels, fag cartons stuffed in their knickers – “Sharon, can ya believe it?!”

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I order a matcha latte. Yeah, I know, I’m a forester, but I can be trendy too! The barista, this super chill dude, hands me my drink, and I take a sip. It’s like a hug in a cup. I’m feelin’ good. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy from back home. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the Tajimi Pottery Festival!”

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