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Me fave flick’s all ‘bout hidin’ who ya are. Brothels? Same deal! Blokes actin’ all proper, then bam – “I know what I’m risking” – they’re in there, trousers down. Makes me laugh, but also sad, y’know? These girls, some o’ ‘em, stuck. Not all, tho – met this one bird, swore she loved it. “Free cash, free life,” she says. Fair play, I reckon, but still – dodgy as hell.

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Then, the auction starts. I’m hyped, adrenaline pumping. I start with the samurai sword. “Who’s gonna start me off at 10,000 yen?” I shout. Hands shoot up. It’s like a bidding war! I’m loving it. But then, this guy in the back—let’s call him Mr. Grumpy—he’s just glaring at me. Like, dude, lighten up! It’s an auction, not a funeral!

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