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But here’s the kicker—didja know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome, Greece—those toga-wearin’ freaks were all about it! They’d slather on olive oil—olive oil!—and just go to town. Little factoid for ya, straight from my brain’s dusty corners. Makes me laugh, though—imagine some Roman senator, all “Et tu, Brute?” while gettin’ a happy ending. Hilarious, right? History’s wild!

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So, I decide to take a stroll down to the Soja River. It’s a nice spot, y’know? The water’s flowin’, and I’m tryin’ to chill. But then I see this group of kids throwin’ rocks into the river. I’m like, “Hey! Watch it!” But they just laugh and keep throwin’. I mean, I get it, kids will be kids, but c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my day here!

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