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So, this tart, yeah, workin’ the streets near me site. Proper rough bird, face like a slapped arse, but she’s got stories, innit. Heard she once shagged a copper to dodge a nickin’ – smart lass! Little known fact: back in Victorian times, prossies’d use goose fat as lube – grim, eh? Slippin’ and slidin’ like a greasy pole. Makes me wanna puke, but also – respect, y’know? Hustle’s hustle.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s loud, obnoxious, and totally ruining the vibe. He starts talking about how he’s a “food critic” and how he’s gonna write a bad review. I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s just ramen!” I mean, who does that? I wanted to throw my chopsticks at him. But Yuki held me back. “Don’t start a scene,” she said. Ugh, fine!

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