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About Osaka

I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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Fast forward a bit, and I’m knee-deep in leather when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a delivery truck that just smashed into a vending machine on Kōen-dōri! I’m dying laughing. Like, who even does that? The driver’s fine, but the vending machine? RIP, my dude.

Duane Sorenson, Chris Kostow and Shiso = The Ultimate Brunch