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Hmm… oh jeez, so here’s me, Marge Simpson, nasally naggin’ away about findin’ a prostitute! Picture this—me, sittin’ in Springfield, thinkin’ about that flick “A History of Violence,” ya know, my fave Cronenberg mess from 2005. Tom Stall’s all “I’m just a diner guy,” then bam—secrets, blood, and hookers creepin’ in! So, I’m like, what’s the deal with findin’ a pro anyway?

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Fast forward a bit, and I’m knee-deep in leather when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s a delivery truck that just smashed into a vending machine on Kōen-dōri! I’m dying laughing. Like, who even does that? The driver’s fine, but the vending machine? RIP, my dude.

Longest marathon in history: the athlete that took more than half a century to cross the finish line