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This one time, I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she owns the night. I’m thinkin’, “She’s got that fire, like Collé in the movie!” I roll up, all chill, like, “Hey, doll, you good?” She smirks, tosses her hair, says, “What’s it to ya, bunny?” I’m crackin’ up—bunny! Me! Bugs freakin’ Bunny! I’m like, “Eh, just checkin’, doc, don’t bite!”

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First call comes in. Some dude’s stuck on the side of the road on Kiyokawa. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I send a driver, but then I get a call from a lady on Hoshizaki. Her cat’s stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a baby!” But whatever, I send someone. I mean, it’s Shiranuka, where cats are basically royalty.

Poor catches battering Japan fishing industry