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So – picture this. Dusty roads. Me – Harvester beast. Rumble rumble. Lookin’ for a gal. Not easy! Cops everywhere. Pissed me off. Sneaky bastards – hidin’ in bushes. Once – true story – 1920s Kansas. Farmers hired gals. Paid ‘em in corn! Freaky, right? History’s nuts. Anyway – I roll up. This chick – red heels. Smokin’ hot. “You’re my harvest,” I growl. She laughs. “Cash first, big boy.”

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee. I mean, c’mon, can’t you take it outside? But then, the guy says something that cracks me up. He’s like, “You always do this!” And I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the one who forgot her birthday!”