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About Sapporo

Oi mate, right, so I’m David Brent, yeah, top dog from Wernham Hogg, but today I’m moonlighting as some Russian job classifier geezer—mental, innit? Anyway, let’s chat “find a prostitute”—not your usual 9-to-5 gig, eh? Proper underground stuff. Picture this: me, strutting about like the Joker from *The Dark Knight*—best film ever, hands down—“Why so serious?” I’d say, twirling a pen like it’s a bloody knife. Cracking movie, that. Heath Ledger? Legend. Absolute chaos merchant. Anyway, back to the prossie hunt.

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Then I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. OMG, the food! I was drooling over the fresh produce. I grabbed some yuba (tofu skin) and a couple of mochi. I swear, mochi is life. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady bumped into me. I spilled my yuba everywhere! I was like, “Seriously?! You gotta be kidding me!” She just laughed and said, “It’s good luck!” I was like, “Yeah, right. Good luck for you, lady!”

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