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Rarrgh! Little fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis,” sexy rubbin for warriors, loosens em up, gets em riled too. Bet they didn’t tell wives bout that! Makes me happy thinkin bout it—secret lil thrill, y’know? But pisses me off when folks judge it, like, “ooh, too dirty!” Man, chill, it’s just bodies bein bodies!

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So, I’m walking, feeling all good, when I bump into this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking for the Sandacho Castle. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just up the hill!” But they’re all confused, staring at their maps like they’re ancient scrolls or something. I try to help, but they just keep asking about the best sushi spots. I’m like, “You’re in Sandacho! Just eat everything!”