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About Saitama

So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some skanky street, dodge the cops, and bam—there’s your gal! But now? Jesus Christ, it’s all online, like freakin’ Amazon for ass! You got apps, shady websites, even X posts—yeah, I checked, don’t judge me! I’m scrollin’, and I see this one chick’s profile, right? Total scam! Her pic’s all blurry, probly some dude’s grandma, and I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, you lyin’ bitch!” Made me so mad I threw my Cheesy Poofs at the wall—waste of good snacks, dammit!

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After that little mishap, I decide to grab some breakfast. I hit up this tiny café on Kōen-dōri. The owner is this sweet old lady who makes the best tamagoyaki. I’m talking fluffy, sweet, and just perfect. I’m scarfing it down, and she’s smiling at me like I’m her long-lost grandkid. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the food!” But it’s all good vibes, ya know?

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