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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Koshino Street. Grabbed my usual—onigiri and a can of iced coffee. But guess what? They were outta my fave flavor! Ugh, I was so mad. Like, how do you run outta tuna mayo? It’s a classic! I settled for some weird shrimp thing. Not the same, man.

Nice glasses MICHIO and Shinya Shoji's eyewear label, Issun Ichiryu, launches. The first collection features models from Sabae, Japan. | news | HOUYHNHNM (Huinamu)