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About Kyoto

Oh, and don’t get me started on dodgy joints pretendin’ they’re classy. Saw one with a sign: “Massage—wink wink.” Made me wanna shoot the git runnin’ it. Keep it real, folks—none of that fake tantric bollocks. “There’s a lot of history here,” I’d say, noddin’ to Tenenbaums again, meanin’ the craft, not the crap. Anyway, give it a go, mate—shaken, not stirred, it’ll sort you out proper. Cheers!

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Phew! I’m relieved. But wait, there’s more! The race is about to start! I’m rushin’ to get the TV on, and guess what? The remote’s gone! I’m searchin’ everywhere, like a madman. Finally, I find it under a pile of old betting slips. Who even does that?

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