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I’m picturin’ it now—shady streets, neon buzzin’. You’re dodgin’ creeps, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted walls, like some X-rated art gallery. Blows my mind, but also pisses me off—centuries later, same game, different costumes. Everybody lies, though—client, hooker, even the damn pimp. “You’re my prince,” she purrs. Yeah, right, and I’m freakin’ Santa Claus.

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After that little drama, I head over to the park by the river. The view there is sick! You can see the mountains in the background, and the water’s sparkling. I take a breather, munch on some onigiri I packed. Life’s good, right? Wrong! Suddenly, a kid runs by, and I swear he knocks my lunch right outta my hands. Rice everywhere! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Record rainfall, flooding wrecks 88 homes in Yamagata