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So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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But then, the day takes a turn. We’re walking down Oarai’s back streets, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “C’mon, man, help her out!” So, I rush over, and she’s super grateful. But then she starts talking my ear off about her cat. I’m like, “Uh-huh, that’s nice,” but inside I’m thinking, “I just wanted to be a good dude!”

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