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So, check it, the graphics? Kinda dope, lowkey retro, like some pixelated fever dream. Makes me happy, ‘cause I’m a sucker for that old-school shit. But the controls? Man, they piss me off—clunky as hell, like tryna steer a spaceship with no grav. I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Move, you dumbass!” Meanwhile, the story’s got these prostitutes spillin’ tea—little known fact, one’s based on a real chick from 90s LA who conned pimps outta millions. Swear, humans are nuts.

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But then, I got lost. Like, really lost. I was tryin’ to find my way back to the beach, but I ended up on some random street. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be stuck here forever.” But then I saw this old man. He was just chillin’ on his porch, and I asked him for directions. He laughed and pointed me back to the beach.

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