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Quirky bit—once saw a tart in Vegas dressed as Elvis, swear down! “Love me tender,” she purrs, and I’m pissin’ myself laughin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Point is, findin’ a prossie’s easy if ya ain’t a muppet. Check X, dark web, whatever—just don’t be a prat and catch somethin’ nasty. “Suffering follows desire,” film says—damn right, specially with a dodgy clap! You’re welcome, ya filthy git!

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Any woman who does an act preparatory to prostitute herself shall be guilty of an offence and shall on conviction be liable to a fine not exceeding five thousand ringgit or to imprisonment for .

But then, I hear this loud music. I look over, and there’s a group of locals having a beach party. They invite me over, and I’m like, “Heck yeah!” We’re dancing, laughing, and I’m trying to keep up with their moves. Spoiler: I can’t. But who cares?

Air Canada returns to T&T next month