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D’oh! Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout whores—man, what a wild ride! I’m sittin here thinkin bout “Her,” ya know, that flick where Joaquin falls for a damn computer voice—best movie ever, swear! “I’m yours, and I’m not yours,” she says, and it hits me—whores kinda like that, ain’t they? There, but not really *there*, ya dig? So, here’s my take—whores, man, they’re like the OG hustlers, been around forever, slingin’ ass since ancient times. Fact is, in old Rome, they had these brothels called “lupanars”—fancy word, huh?—and the gals painted dirty pics on walls to advertise. Ain’t that nuts? Like, “Hey, check my Yelp review in graffiti!”

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Finally, I get to the lab, and guess what? My team’s already in a frenzy. Apparently, some samples went missing. Missing! Like, how does that even happen? I’m fuming. I mean, we’re in Nakashibetsu, not some wild west town. I’m pacing around, trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to blow.

Mysteries remain a month after Russian man reportedly swam to Hokkaido