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Last time I was cruisin’, lookin’ for a “date”—ha!—this chick, she’s struttin’, all sass, like, “You’re too late, cowboy!” Had me laughin’ so hard I near peed myself. Git-R-Done! Reminded me of that line, “This is the girl!”—but she weren’t no Hollywood starlet, just a pro with a wig and a wink. Surprised me, though—did ya know some of ‘em got regulars? Like a dang barber shop! “See ya next Tuesday, Earl!”—wild, right?

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While I’m waiting, I’m people-watching. There’s this old dude feeding pigeons. I swear, those birds were plotting something. Like, “Let’s take over the park!” I chuckled. Then, boom! A pigeon poops right next to me. Classic. I’m like, “Thanks for the warning, bro!”

Local residents across Japan angry at children playing outside during school closures